Talking to Children About War and Violence:

A Guide for Parents

It is becoming increasingly difficult to shield our children from the harsh realities that exist beyond their immediate surroundings. Along with the current situation between Russia and Ukraine, news of the brutal revival of the war between Israel and Palestine and violence erupting in various parts of the world, parents are often faced with the challenge of discussing these sensitive subjects with their children.  We did some research and put together some pointers that may help in having these difficult conversations with your little ones.

1. Assess What Your Child Already Knows

Before diving into the topic, start by asking open-ended questions to gauge your child's understanding. Questions like "Have you heard about what's happening in Israel and Palestine?" or "How do you feel about the news you've seen or heard?" can provide insight into their perspective.

2. Use Age-Appropriate Language

Teenagers might be able to understand more complex explanations, while younger children might benefit from simple, straightforward answers. For very young kids, it may be enough to say, "There's fighting happening far away, and many people, including kids, are getting hurt. It's okay to feel sad or scared about it."

3. Be Honest, But Limit Graphic Details

While it's essential to be truthful, avoid sharing overly graphic or disturbing details that could traumatize children and cause added stress. Focus on the broader issues and the importance of peace and understanding among nations.

4. Highlight the Good Amidst the Bad

Point out stories of hope, resilience, and people working towards peace. It's crucial for children to know that even in dire situations, there are individuals making positive changes.

5. Address Stereotyping and Prejudice

With violence targeted at or stemming from specific groups, children might overhear or misunderstand generalized comments about Muslims, Palestinians, Israelis, etc. Emphasize the importance of not painting everyone with the same brush and the dangers of prejudice.

6. Encourage Empathy and Critical Thinking

Discuss the impact of war on ordinary people, especially children like them. This can foster empathy. Encourage them to think critically about what they hear and see in the media.

7. Offer Reassurance

While it's essential to be truthful about the state of the world, also reassure them of their safety. Remind them that many people are working to make the world a better place.

8. Limit Exposure to Graphic Media

Continually seeing violent images can be traumatizing. Be mindful of what your child is exposed to on TV, the internet, and social media. Offer alternative sources of information that are child-friendly.

9. Provide a Safe Space for Expression

Children might express their feelings through play, art, or writing. Offer them outlets to process their emotions and ensure they know they can always talk to you about their concerns.

10. Reiterate the Value of Peace and Respect

Reinforce the importance of peace, that it is worth fighting for, while accepting and respecting other cultures. Discuss ways they can be ambassadors of peace in their communities, such as promoting understanding among peers or participating in community events.

Talking to children about war and violence can be challenging. But with honesty, empathy, and open communication, parents can help their children navigate these difficult topics while instilling values of peace, respect, and understanding.